x.jane

i hope many cynics will take this opportunity to get off their misanthropic @sses, stop talking, and start pitching in.

murakami today, kafka on the shore.  in fact, i got to such a point in the book that it became nearly impossible to put down.  didn’t touched a tech book all afternoon.

there’s such a soothing, dream-like quality to his writing; the voice fits so snugly within/next to the part of my being which derives comfort from such things.  it’s nice.

it allows the subject matter to be explored in a gentler way, illuminating the object and enlightening the subject simultaneously.

the self is very real, despite what some poets might say.

things are going well.  reading lots of books, putting together an equipment list, basically learning all the engineering i haven’t got because i’m an applied mathematician. it’s been great fun!

ian's going to help me put the prototype together!  yay!~  i've been so nervy about this thing and he is (you, sir, are) a rock.  : )

it's seems that particular circumstances in current, or recent enough to be current, ..... (those moments which layer up and stick to the mind, creating a particular narrative that demands to be followed), are turning my thoughts to a portion (or perhaps the whole enchilada) of artifacts / foundations (?), of our intellectual (and at least western) cognitive histories, yes, are asking me to ask myself particular questions about the manner in which i approach the things which exist beyond the reach of any algorithmic sifting or understanding.

yes, cos <3 = ?, the clash (in my particular subjective universe) of head & heart, the mythos and the logos of our intellectual (if not cultural) forefathers carried out through space and time into the near-infinite variations of cultural reproduction we might find scattered throughout western civilization.  ( i suppose we could say that seattle's vibe in the context of this modus cogito bears witness; so far west we are east (or a conglomeration of same), one might say.)

my whole life seems to revolve around the Question. what does it mean to be human in the context of the wider 'verse and what do we need to know to get us out there in one piece?  what is the nature of our reality?

and in the simple terms which define a waking life, my particular waking life:  words or no words, list or heart?  returning to a place that's been home pushes these questions to the fore even as i tinker in math/physics books and with the innards of an almost thinking machine.

sort of the "as above so below" theme. despite it's prolific growth in popular culture, the dominant meta-intellecto-socio paradigm denies the validity of half of itself.  logic and reason rule an unstable day in the life of a species that could be 300,000 years old.  heck, even 30 - 40,000 years is enough to impress this short-lived self.

 

actually, it's subtler than that.  we live in a world of emo-politics & such not.  the problem arises when it's the 21st century and alot of people still don't get it; mass denial, a bit of an ugly thing. 

buddhist jihad, it's the only answer : )

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it's interesting to look at the point (in some intellectualized, and perhaps very real, space) where these questions of cultural/contemplative being intersect with technology, not as it has to date, i.e. through the medium of this particular light, this particular wonder that is the 'net, but at the point at which these ideas conflate in a very real and visceral sense, leading us out across the wider spaces of this particular universe.

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the tension between dualities, that's where all the interesting questions (and answers) live.

it's not been as difficult as i thought it might.  i'm not the same person i was a year ago, heck, even a week ago.  something about finding one's "north" and everything about reconnecting with friends after four and a half years in new york city.

i love that particular metropolis with most of my heart, but it will take a bit of one's soul and twist it 'round if one treads without caution.  it's a matter of finding the right lights, so to speak.  for me, the beacon of academia, despite its blots and faults, helped everything remain in its proper place, perspective steady, focus tight.

research has been going well.  will start fabrication after inauguration day.  will also relocate to the urban center of this particular paradise.  the emerald city calls.

tho' small town life def has it's appeal.  it's interesting to look at what gets lost when too many people crowd a place.  yet there's also a price to be paid for living amongst too many people who 1) know, or think they know, too much about you, and 2) have certain ideas about the 'correct' way to live.

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it's been a bit surreal up to this point, the wrecking of my nyc life, understanding at last the will of the universe in the wrecking of my life, the move, the flight, the holidays, the realization that home is also nyc if only for the people and the places that i love...  (would be telling an untruth to say i didn't miss her, that blessd & amazing city)

now, as i've become acclimated, the sur- bleeds away into just plain realism, and i feel inspired about reading more math + physics, building my little machine friends, spending time with old friends & making new ones.

here's to 2009 and simple living~

wow.  apparently i have not posted here in two and a half years.  not that i was ever prolific to begin with. 

i'm more of a tumblr these days.  can be found at noosphere and i've a static school-related blog-thingie that i was trying to make myself over at the witch of agnesi, before i gave up and started tumblrng.

happy new year!

edit:  i think i'll start crossposting appropriate entries betw here & tumblr.

it's almost not worth speaking about, but only in the sense that words might ruin it.

being somewhat socially autistic, i find i don't enjoy attending parties as well as i might were i blessed with a mind that went a bit slower than ten billion miles a second.  last night, despite a couple of tiny 'wtf' moments, was a dream.  & a good one!

it began with a visit to dear dear friends ian and tatiana (friends that are family.  the best kind of friends really.  no lists, no particular reason why, just kinship at first sight.) was just going to visit and then head over to an old married+kid friend's house for a quiet evening.

advice said something unusual, def something unusual for this particular new year.  so, off to the parties with ian & ana.

spent the early part of the evening with a couple of tech-gods-of-the-west types, then on to a proper, and quite professional, capitol-hill-as-in-seattle house...  the word party is too simple a word for the experience.  yes, c.h.a.i.s. experience.  like that thing they built for jimi except easier on the eyes.

that's it.  rolled in at 7 am.  a perfect wow.

happy new year everyone!~  it's going to be a better one.

tho' to be honest, i think most thinking machines will turn out to be buddhists. really. it's only logical.

Shared Theories On Thought Could Lead To Smart Machines

Machines can respond to simple electronic commands such as “stop,” “start” and “grind,” but they are not very good at figuring out complex orders or unstated common sense. Command a machine to “paint the computer case before you box it,” or “provide power to the computer before you switch it on” and it is very possible the machine will box the product before the case is dry, or plug and then unplug a computer before switching it on. The meaning of the word “before” is quite different in these two cases. Ontologists, researchers who make it their business to understand the thought process, hope to end the age of stupid machines.

more here

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2006/05/060501113432.htm

anti-gun rally, toronto from http://www.flickr.com/photos/wvs/tags/pillowfight/